tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-297550472024-02-21T08:04:46.773+05:30Just what you were looking for...Not The answer to all of life's questions.Krishnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05296472246642964812noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29755047.post-27995088810801343712007-02-11T18:36:00.000+05:302007-02-04T20:02:29.286+05:30Whats Your Personality Type ?I just sort of stumbled across this link (given below.) (Stumbled across would be like spending a couple of hours on search .)<br /><br />http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp<br /><br />Go Ahead And Take the test.<br /><br />I was rated as an 'IntJ' personality.<br /><br />An 'IntJ' personality is by definition a obnoxious braggart.<br />Which I am.<br /><br />All in all the link goes on to describe your personality type very well.<br />And most of it rung true to me.<br /><br />Anyways What follow below is how to handle people like me.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Dealing with INTJ's<br /></span><ol style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><li>Be willing to back up your statements with facts - or at least some pretty sound reasoning.<br /><br /></li><li>Don't expect them to respect you or your viewpoints just because you say so. INTJ respect must be earned.<br /><br /></li><li>Be willing to concede when you are wrong. The average INTJ respects the truth over being "right". Withdraw your erroneous comment and admit your mistake and they will see you as a very reasonable person. Stick to erroneous comments and they will think you are an irrational idiot and treat everything you say as being questionable.<br /><br /></li><li>Try not to be repetitive. It annoys them.<br /><br /></li><li>Do not feed them a line of bull.<br /><br /></li><li>Expect debate. INTJs like to tear ideas apart and prove their worthiness. They will even argue a point they don't actually support for the sake of argument.<br /><br /></li><li>Do not mistake the strength of your conviction with the strength of your argument. INTJs do not need to believe in a position to argue it or argue it well. Therefore, it will take more than fervor to sway them.<br /><br /></li><li>Do not be surprised at sarcasm.<br /><br /></li><li>Remember that INTJs believe in workable solutions. They are extremely open-minded to possibilities, but they will quickly discard any idea that is unfeasible. INTJ open-mindedness means that they are willing to have a go at an idea by trying to pull it apart. This horrifies people who expect oohs and ahhs and reverence. The ultimate INTJ insult to an idea is to ignore it, because that means it's not even interesting enough to deconstruct.<br /><br />This also means that they will not just accept any viewpoint that is presented to them. The bottom line is "Does it work?" - end discussion.<br /><br /></li><li>Do not expect INTJs to actually care about how you view them. They already know that they are arrogant bastards with a morbid sense of humor. Telling them the obvious accomplishes nothing. </li></span></ol></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />Well..It is just food for thought.<br />Aint it?<br />And no matter how much we try to classify people, you can never really say .<br />Can ya ?<br /></div>Krishnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05296472246642964812noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29755047.post-1152964481211721582006-07-15T13:52:00.000+05:302007-01-29T17:24:20.762+05:30Ahoy There Land Lubber<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: arial;font-size:130%;" >Fifteen men on a dead man's chest</span><span style="font-family: arial;font-size:130%;" ><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: arial;font-size:130%;" >Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum</span><span style="font-family: arial;font-size:130%;" ><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: arial;font-size:130%;" >Drink and the devil had done for the rest</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >The mate was fixed by the bosun's pike</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >bosun brained with a marlinspike</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >And cookey's throat was marked belike</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >It had been gripped by fingers ten;</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >And there they lay, all good dead men</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Like break o'day in a boozing ken</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Fifteen men of the whole ship's list</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Dead and be damned and the rest gone whist!</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >The skipper lay with his nob in gore</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Where the scullion's axe his cheek had shore</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >And the scullion he was stabbed times four</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >And there they lay, and the soggy skies</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Dripped down in up-staring eyes</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >In murk sunset and foul sunrise</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Fifteen men of 'em stiff and stark</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Ten of the crew had the murder mark!</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Twas a cutlass swipe or an ounce of lead</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Or a yawing hole in a battered head</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >And the scuppers' glut with a rotting red</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >And there they lay, aye, damn my eyes</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Looking up at paradise</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >All souls bound just contrawise</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Fifteen men of 'em good and true</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Ev'ry man jack could ha' sailed with Old Pew,</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >There was chest on chest of Spanish gold</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >With a ton of plate in the middle hold</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >And the cabins riot of stuff untold,</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >And they lay there that took the plum</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >With sightless glare and their lips struck dumb</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >While we shared all by the rule of thumb,</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >More was seen through a sternlight screen...</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Chartings undoubt where a woman had been</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >'Twas a flimsy shift on a bunker cot</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >With a dirk slit sheer through the bosom spot</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >And the lace stiff dry in a purplish blot</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Oh was she wench or some shudderin' maid</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >That dared the knife and took the blade</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >By God! she had stuff for a plucky jade</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Fifteen men on a dead man's chest</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Drink and the devil had done for the rest</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >We wrapped 'em all in a mains'l tight</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >With twice ten turns of a hawser's bight</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >And we heaved 'em over and out of sight,</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >With a Yo-Heave-Ho! and a fare-you-well</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >And a sudden plunge in the sullen swell</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Ten fathoms deep on the road to hell,</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;" >Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div> <span style="font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;" ><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><br /></span>Krishnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05296472246642964812noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29755047.post-1151830979941118952006-07-02T11:55:00.000+05:302006-07-02T14:41:58.833+05:30To First Officer Spock...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7846/1895/1600/Star%20Trek.0.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7846/1895/400/Star%20Trek.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />The other day saw an add that <span style="font-style: italic;">'Enterprise</span>' was going to go into its second series. Now I am a major Sci-Fi buff,<br />but this got me thinking about the original series , you know <span style="font-style: italic;">the</span> '<span style="font-style: italic;">Star Trek</span>'.<br />The great thing about the original trek series was that along with the sci-fi it managed to blend humor into its character's perfectly.<br /><br /><br /><br />For me the most memorable character was Spock,or in the words of Spock the most <span style="font-style: italic;">fascinating </span>one . Yeah , Kirk had his moments , but Spock was the star, no two ways about it. You always expected Spock to have the last word ..... and he always did. Spock contrasted beautifully with the crew of the enterprise. When you had Spock and McCoy in the same room, you expected banter and very rarely did the repartee disappoint.<br /><br />This is one of the rare occasions when McCoy gets the better of Spock.<br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />McCoy</span>: Once, just once, I'd like to be able to land someplace and say "Behold, I am the Archangel Gabriel."<br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Spock</span>: I fail to see the humor in that situation, Doctor.<br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">McCoy</span>: Naturally. You could hardly claim to be an angel with those pointed ears, Mr. Spock. But say you landed someplace with a pitchfork...<br /><br /></span><font>The above was more the exception than the rule .<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">McCoy</span>: <span style="font-style: italic;">I'm not a magician, Spock; just an old country doctor. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Spock</span>: <span style="font-style: italic;">Yes. As I always suspected.</span><br /><br />Or<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Spock</span>: <span style="font-style: italic;">Random chance seems to have operated in our favor.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">McCoy</span>: <span style="font-style: italic;">In plain non-Vulcan English, we've been lucky. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Spock</span>: <span style="font-style: italic;">I believe I have said that, doctor.</span><br /><br /></span>Krishnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05296472246642964812noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29755047.post-1150817487344355132006-06-20T14:20:00.000+05:302006-06-20T21:01:27.383+05:30In a Moment of Melancholy<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7846/1895/1600/boy.0.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7846/1895/320/boy.0.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Of all the words in the English language , the saddest are these :<br /> <span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">It might have been.</span></span><br /><br />As I pay the weary wages of time , it hurts far more to see your dreams fade away , to see passion ebb away and to have in its place see a cynism take root that seems to grow more deep and intense with every passing moment. Where once there was a zeal and enthusiasm I now encounter bitterness and sarcasm.<br />I fear the person that I have become, yet in some dark recessess of my mind hope conspires.<span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span></span></span> <div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> I'm not the only one<span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);"> starin' at the sun</span></span></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-style: italic;"> afraid of what you'd find</span></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-style: italic;"> if you took a look inside</span></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-style: italic;"> not just deaf and dumb</span></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-style: italic;"> I'm staring at the sun</span></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-style: italic;"> not the only one who's <span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);">happy to go blind</span>.</span></span></span><br /></div> <span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"><br /></span></span>Krishnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05296472246642964812noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29755047.post-1150731468287159552006-06-19T19:43:00.000+05:302006-06-19T21:07:48.330+05:30A General Refutation for 'X' sucksOften, I am approached by individuals looking for my esteemed opinion on certian matters.<br />I do tend to humour these lesser mortals on such occasions, Me generally being the wise old crumpet in these parts , I do my bid to spread the light of human happiness , spread the <span style="font-style: italic;">Joy de Vivere</span> if you will. But kind sir, I however refuse to be a mere sounding board for ideas which would require me to spend considerable time and effort pointing out the fallacy and idiocy in their thoughts. Most of these ideas are of the form <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">'X'</span> sucks.<br />So I hereby offer <span style="font-weight: bold;">a rigourous refutation in the form of proof by contradiction</span> to the position '<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">X</span><span style="font-style: italic;"> sucks'</span>.<br /><br />( Substitue the value of '<span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">X</span>' to your liking. )<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:130%;" > '<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">X Does not suck</span>'</span><br /> </span>I have recently recieved reports indicating that certain individuals hold the opinion that <span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;">X</span> sucks</span>.<br />Thats right : <span style="font-weight: bold;">sucks</span>. This came as a shock to me. How can so many people be so terribly beguiled by a brutish devilish lie that sickens me to even grant it a thought ?<br /><br />This canard is no mere misinformation but the equivocal work of a fiend of most terrible proportions , a true Hitler in the works. And as such , I will with the help of the Spirit and the Heavenly Muse try to mend their perverted ways.<br /><br />O artless gentlemen , Think of what you say ! <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">X sucks</span> ! Fie ! Why even a cursory examiniation of your words would lead me to the rueful conclusion that they make no contact with logic, art , truth or even love at any point. And indeed the deeper you understand .. Oh Heavens ! The more horrific they become.<br /><br />Think of the images associated with sucking- a new born babe , suckling his mothers breast for nourishment that brings life and satisfies his spirit; or a young child, sucking his thumb in fear of the acrid, black night and the horribly disappointing world upon upon whose doorstep he has been left like a downtrodden, unwashed doormat ; or the incredible and new vacum cleaner by EuroClean (for only Rs 9999/- that too) that beautifies your home with more suction power than any other competitor.<br /><br />Imagine these things , I say , and you will see that '<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">X</span>' does no such sucking !<br /><br />Nay, gentleman, it must, as I shall now endeavor to prove in angonizing detail , be engaged in a very different (and mayhap, worse) action than the 'sucking' which you propose.<br /><br />Consider this: for one to "suck " , one must be capable of producing an attractive force powerfull enough to produce a partial vacum that draws a given object towards oneself (as via a stream of fast moving air) , as the result of a disparity in pressures. And thus sucking requires the ability to surmount such natural attractive forces produced by the likes of gravity , electromagnetism, and the nuclear forces (the VanderWaals force for eg.) , via the introduction of an external force which acts upon the object being sucked so as to draw it towards the source of the force.<br /><br />It is quite clear , then , that <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">X</span> has no such attractive forces (save a certian force that seems to draw certian gentlemen like yourselves to declare , lemming-like , that <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">X</span> sucks ; and yet this can hardly be seen as a force exercised by <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">X</span> itself , but is perhaps , if I may be so bold as to venture my professional opinion, the result of a rather severe psychological disorder on the part of such aforementioned gentlemen).<br /><br />Ha! I certainly have you pinned there!<br /><br />Now, I would rest my case here, but I am interested in more than merely pointing out the errors of your ways; indeed, I intend not only to dispel the seed planted by the Devil but also to sow new seed and thus let you reap the fecund harvest of Truth.<br /><br />For you see, <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">X</span> does not suck; <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">it blows</span>. Big time. Like the bellows. Like your mother.<br />Think only of the difference between, say, inhaling and exhaling, and I think you will see exactly what I mean.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 102, 102);"><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Reductio ad absurdum!</span> </span><br />End of proof.Krishnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05296472246642964812noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29755047.post-1150533195239802292006-06-17T13:52:00.000+05:302006-06-17T16:08:08.426+05:30Make English Useless...I am singlehandedly attempting to deconstruct all usefulness of the English language, one phrase at a time.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">How</span> will I accomplish this dastardly deed?<br /><br />1. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Ambiguity overload</span>: Be as ambiguous with everything you say as humanly as possible. A perfect example of this is when asked how I'm doing. The response is always - "Well, you know it's {insert day of week here}". Invariably, I'll recieve a response of 'It sure is'. By responding in this manner, not only have I not answered the question, but I've also incited an ambiguous response. No information has actually been exchanged.<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"> Genius!</span><br /><br />2. <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Sacrificial Sentence</span>: Start off a sentence with the phrase "You know, I was just thinking..." and trail off. After pausing for about 15 seconds, while you still hold your audience's attention, state "Ahhh crap, I forgot". This will not only leave your audience's mind confused, but will also (over time) cause them to start doing the same thing.<br /><br />3. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Wandering Eye Contact</span>: Start every conversation making eye contact with people. Over time, start moving your focus to the left or right slightly (an inch at a time). This is a great way to confuse people, especially if you are speaking to a number of people at once.<br /><br />4. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Do like Dubya</span>: Consistently confuse the meanings of similar sounding words. After time, your audience will begin to confuse them as well. Some suggestions are 'anonymously' with 'animosity'; 'celebate' and 'surrogate'. I think you get the draft.<br /><br />5. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Suffixate Like There's no Tomorrow</span>: Add odd suffixes to as many words as you can. I like to make words up like 'Rockify', 'Codation', and 'Crapicate'.<br /><br />6. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Use Contradictory Adjectives (Oxymorons, moron)</span>: Slam words together like 'disgustingly beautiful', 'hugely small', and 'Microsoft Works' ,'You'r smart!'<br /><br />By following these simple steps, I have already observed my social circle beginning their dumbing down. Soon, it'll come to your town faster than that over hyped movie or that pesky ring tone.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">The revolution is here, baby.</span><br /><br /><br /></span>Wern & Martin are turning in their graves right now .Krishnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05296472246642964812noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29755047.post-1150375434414095572006-06-15T17:11:00.000+05:302006-06-15T18:13:54.426+05:30Men are Stupid. Women are Evil. Food is Good.Men are Stupid.Women are Evil.Food is Good.<br /><br />This is the Universal Truth.<br /><br />1.<span style="font-weight: bold;">Men are Stupid</span>: You might have an IQ of 275 , have a double doctrate in Solid State Physics from MIT,with a Nobel to your credit.<br /> But You are still <span style="font-style: italic;">stupid</span>. And no matter what you do you will continue to be <span style="font-style: italic;">stupid</span>.<br />This is because Males have the 'Y' chromosome, an Incomplete Deficient version of The 'X' chromosome that Women have.This causes the males to do all sorts of stupid things, like marrying women or falling in love.It causes the most intelligent of men to stammer like a blathering idiot in front of a shapely female in a two piece suit.<br />Its in your genes you cant fight it.<br /><br /><br />2.<span style="font-weight: bold;">Women are Evil</span>: Women have exploited the cruel joke that nature has played on men. Women have played on this weakness of men ever since the dawn of time. There is no point blaming the poor Adder, it was Eve's fault. Behind a successfull man theres a woman and behind an unsuccessfull man there are two. And you can take it from me that the successfull women has some ulterior motive behind the chaps apparent 'success'.Womens lib is a joke. Wake up and smell the coffee.<br />If you believe this is a male dominated society then thats because you are a man and Rule 1 follows.<br /><br /><br />3.<span style="font-weight: bold;">Food is Good</span> : But no matter what you are, evil or just plain stupid, we all eat . Food is what sustains us.Food doesn't discriminate,Food doesn't solve differential equations. Food is <span style="font-style: italic;">good</span>.<br /><br /><br />Ipso Facto , Ergo Sum , <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Men are Stupid . Women are Evil. Food is Good</span>.Krishnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05296472246642964812noreply@blogger.com1